This Valentine’s Day it would be noteworthy to notice most biblical couples also had marital problems because, like us, they demonstrated bad habits within the relationship. If we have an absolute total commitment to each other and we use commonsense, we have fulfilled all that the self-help books could tell us. We already know to recognize our spouses’ virtues and to keep romance alive. We know to accept our spouse as they are without trying to change them. And we know to take time to identify problems so they may be resolved. But we don’t consistently do these things and neither did the people of the Bible that we are going to discuss. Let’s examine some of those couples.
We start with Adam and Eve. In Genesis 3:12 Adam took the attitude that “it’s your fault.” It could amount to verbal abusive carried to an extreme. This type of attitude means that the individual is not invested in the outcome but in the blame game for who is responsible according to a certain point of view. At that time in the Garden of Eden when facing God Adam did not appreciate what he already had in Eve.
In the case of Moses and his wife in Exodus 4:26 she took the attitude of “somebody must win.” Unfortunately, she displayed an argumentative spirit. She did not share but told Moses the way it was according to her demands. This was not a mutual decision or discussion. At that point she did not know that her husband was going to be one of the greatest people as recorded in the Old Testament. Without appreciating or honoring him she resorted to name-calling.
In biblical times it was a shame for a woman not to have children. This is told in 1 Samuel 1:8. The Bible makes it clear that Elkanah did love his wife even though he lacked sensitivity. She had been praying to have a child. He took the attitude that “it’s all me.” He may have been loving but he was pretty egotistical, too, while she was also subject to ridicule by other women for the purpose of causing her to fret. However, every year she went to the house of the Lord to pray and weep while not eating. To Elkanah her plight didn’t matter if it didn’t affect him. As a result, he left her on her own to solve her own problem.
While David was celebrating the entrance of the ark into Jerusalem, his wife displayed an attitude of “sarcasm.” This is one of the greatest days for David. It was a real high emotionally for him. Nonetheless, she sought to bring him down by her disapproval of his behavior. She expected David to read her mind in advance for how she would react to what he had planned. She became a spiteful wife carrying a grudge for the rest of their marriage to the extent of withdrawing from their intimate relationship.
In the case of Job and his wife, a significant confrontation occurred between them as recorded in Job 2: 9, 10. As soon as Satan attacked Job’s physical health, she displayed the attitude that said, “be the way I want you to be.” She did not understand spiritual maturity. As a result, she lacked any support for him in his service to God. She was the type of person who was intolerant, uncaring for her husband’s plight.
It is a wise spouse that will learn from Scripture. It is a wise spouse that will seek understanding for the other person in the marriage. In an unwise situation, damage could be devastating.
Christian Writer 