During Bible times there was a difference between a promise and a betrothal. A promise was just simply a plan or intention for a couple to be married but the engagement could easily be broken off. However, the betrothal had a legal binding for the intention of marriage. A betrothal was a covenant within the community and before God. The families of the bride and groom would gather and discuss a potential marriage. The parents would have a definite say. It is important for us to realize that the betrothal of the marriage is entirely different. There was a year’s elapse usually between the two. It was during this time that the Holy Spirit came upon Mary causing her to become pregnant.
The following is a description of the traditional marriage. None of these things were able to be implemented because Mary was pregnant, because Joseph had to take her with him to Bethlehem to register for taxation purposes, and there was no family involvement or festivity. As the bride, Mary missed out on all of the wonderful celebration of what would’ve been theirs. Instead, she found herself nine months pregnant and walking along a dusty rocky trail. At some point they did get married of course. However, that did not entail the dreams of the new bride.
When it came time for the actual wedding in ancient times, it was a great festivity. Both the groom and the bride wore special garments that were scented with frankincense and myrrh. Usually, a procession took place at night in which the bridegroom went to the home of the bride so that she might be escorted from our parents to his home. This is the reason it was so important that the wise virgins carried a lamp as a talk for their part of the procession. The unwise virgins were left out of the ceremony because they did not have fuel for their lamps.
All the guests they came to the wedding feast were required to wear special garments. The banquet was overseen by a person called the ruler of the feast. It was his duty to make sure the preparations occurred as they should and that the guests were given attention. Prayers, benedictions, and arrangements were made as part of the celebration. After the wedding feast the groom was escorted by his friends to where his wife had previously been led. The wedding festivities with relatives and friends could likely last a whole week and was called “the days of the marriage” they could actually stretch out to 30 days.
I gave this brief summary of betrothal and marriage to emphasize how that Mary and Joseph as bride and groom did not get the benefit of tradition. It was more important for them to be obedient to God that was to attend a weeklong party. The whole situation was entirely different than normal. Every circumstance was planned by God not for the whims of partygoers. Because Mary and Joseph were obedient in every way, the tradition of a betrothal turning into her marriage accompanied by festivities was sidelined. Every bride looks forward to a wonderful marriage ceremony except in the case of Mary who found it necessary to forgo the usual in favor of the divinely unusual.
Christian Writer 