In yesterday’s blog I outlined the consequence of family dysfunction and the roles people play as a result. In that environment members of the family are unable to attain closeness and self-expression. The dynamics that is operating within the family is the overall power that is exerted over each member. Now, let us discuss some causes of that dysfunction.
Ignoring scriptural admonitions about each person’s responsibility toward others within the family is a sin in itself. God established the family and has outlined how that family should operate. To ignore God’s plan, will create chaos. (Colossians 3: 18-25) Closely connected to these faulty responsibilities is conditional love. The goal line is constantly being moved to gain power over others instead of displaying genuine love.
If one person within the family is obsessed for such things as sex or abuses such things as alcohol, drugs, money, or gambling, that obsession takes a priority. No longer is love for people important. The obsession is all-important. Members of the family find themselves making excuses to the outside world in behalf of that one person who needs so much help.
In some cases, a member of the family has or develops a handicap, that becomes an issue dividing people over the best response. A person may be born with a tendency toward a mental health issue such as schizophrenia. That person may never demonstrate the condition or because of stress (or other factors) blossom into someone that is impossible to live with.
One of the most common displays of dysfunction within the family is the failure to establish or honor boundaries for oneself or for others. Too often the boundaries become fluid, allowing invasion into the psyche unnecessarily. Healthy boundaries are most important in the family and in society. A reason for dishonoring boundaries could be self-doubt and the need for approval from others.
As you can see, there is a multitude of causes for family dysfunction. These are a few examples. Often things take priority over persons. Without a closeness to God, a critical spirit may be displayed resulting in rejection against those who should be automatically accepted. The cure is quite complicated. The first step is for each one to get themselves right with God and have him the center of the family.
Christian Writer 