It is the church’s responsibility to nurture and teach those who enter the doors. The leadership bears the greatest responsibility to care for the emotionally, spiritually wounded. Unfortunately, there are situations in which people stopped going to church because the church let them down or did harm to them. This is not limited to the general population. Harm can even be afflicted onto the leadership such as the pastor. In essence, it is possible that under some situations an individual can attend the church and regret it later. Members are just as likely to suffer under the negative influence that permeates the church environment as much as the casual attendee.
I have a friend who was a pastor of a prominent church. He accepted the call to another church thinking that it was God’s leadership. He had a fantastic ministry in the previous church but decided that it was time to explore new opportunities. He regretted his decision beyond measure. Not long after he assumed his position as pastor his daughter was raped by the son of a deacon. Initially he expected support from the church and its leadership. In addition to the rape, the church betrayed the family saying that it was the daughter’s fault that she was raped because of her dress and behavior. I knew that family and that was definitely not true. There was a wound of the rape followed by the wound of the betrayal. The church was his source of income to support the family. He could not just arbitrarily leave abruptly. Eventually he left off being a pastor altogether. He turned to being an evangelist and continued in that ministry until his death. He even wrote a book about their experience.
Granted, the church is the people of Christ, but I am talking about assembling with the people for worship and service.
We are examining two possible situations. One possibility is that a church attendee or even a pastor could be spiritually and mortally wounded which redirected their lives. Another possibility is of a church attendee or a leader in the church that exercised negative influence on the body of Christ causing a heavy atmosphere unbecoming to someone who would visit. We have herein observed the uncomfortable religious lifestyle of a person or family that could have significant effects. Now, let us consider reasons for a person to not totally abandon the church experience. If that should happen, there could remain ongoing spiritual frustration or further hurt.
A family that abandons the church could put their children in such a situation that they are denying exposure to biblical teachings and a future relationship with God. In another position a person who abandons the church could carry hostility to religion altogether and others who profess a relationship with Christ. Research has proven that children who regularly attend Sunday School will most likely do better in public school. To abandon the church is also to abandon the social and emotional support that could come from members. The person who no longer attends church can have a spiritual problem such as never having a salvation experience with God in the first place. The circumstances of church abandonment could put the person on the outside of society and unable to receive the support and interaction needed in crucial times such as funerals and weddings.
It is understandable that a person who has been wounded at or by a church withdraws to themselves for a time. A certain amount of healing may need to take place in the privacy of one’s life. However, as that healing takes place, hopefully there will be a new strength within that leads to an establishment with a different church. In the meantime, counseling may be necessary. Even so, as the old saying goes, when you get thrown off a horse, the first thing to do is to get back on it. Hopefully the new church will have the dynamics that reaches out to the spiritually wounded. The experience at the previous church should be a learning lesson but not one that pushes a person away from routine worship. It is so unfortunate that when a person stops attending church, they are written off without follow-up, prayer, or contact. They become out of sight out of mind. We must not allow that to happen in our spiritual environment.
Christian Writer 