Be the way I want you to be

The source of many disagreements between people originates from subconscious expectations of others. We each want the other person to be exactly what we expect them to be. Just think how many times you are disappointed with other people. Think about the times that they thought they were doing right or cooperatively with your needs and you were disappointed about the result.
It would be rare for anyone to say to the other person,” I want you to be exactly the way I went to the be.” Should that happen, our relationships would greatly improve. But Ii is not realistic to think that way.Remember they cannot read your mind. and if you don’t say it to them, it does not count.
On the other hand, without any belligerence, and with keen hearing ,we can learn how to be that person’s spouse, friend, coworker, or agent. Most of these hints are slips of the tongue and not a conscious demand. For instance, when a wife would say to her husband, ” I like when you do that or like when you do it that way,” that is a strong but subtle hint to do that in the future in that way. If she says, “I don’t understand how you think,” there is a queue to better communicate.                                                                                 A good way for people to communicate is after something is said and then ask the other person ,”What did you hear me say?” Or, the person who was supposed to do the hearing can ask, “Is this what you meant to say?”
We are all under strong pressure to conform and perform to the expectations of the other person. It is a great responsibility and can create a happy environment or a dark situation.Reality dictates this is not possible.
The solution to this problem is for one person to realize that they have these expectations and to avoid them. To accept the other person as they are without trying to change them is a big step in the right direction. Encouraging the other person with love and kind words is much more effective than harsh and critical statements.The Bible says, “the kind answer turns away wrath.”
Since we all have this demand that we place onother people to be the way we want them to be, we must realize they cannot do that. It is an impossibility. The only answer is to give up that expectation and accept the person as they are. Improve your relationships greatly with better communication and a reduction in demands on the other person to conform to your expectations.

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