Actress Goldie Hawn has been living with Kurt Russell for 40 years without marriage. She stated that an actual marriage is unnecessary for a good relationship. She had previously married other people that ended in divorce. Her contention was that if she and Russell had gotten married, they would already be divorced. Apparently, she sees the idea of a wedding as something of a curse on two individuals who desire to live together. She is a good example of many people today that reject the biblical concept of commitment. Her position is a reminder of how people in today’s world put their own desires and solutions above what God says. It is so prevalent and popular for a couple to move in together without marriage or say have a plan to get married someday. This sends a resounding negative example to any children involved in that relationship.
In many cases a wedding has become a farce without taking into consideration the serious matter what it is. One couple decided to be married underwater. Another couple wanted to be married while wearing Halloween costumes. Yet another couple married with their faces made up as skeletons. A couple can have a lot of fun in their wedding, but it must be respectful also.
We must remind ourselves of what the Bible’s view of marriage has been detailed. It is between one man and one woman. It is a promise that they make to each other to avoid any close relationship with another person of the opposite sex. It is also a promise that the two people make to God. Their wedding vows are more than ceremony. Those who attend the wedding are witnesses of their vows. Within a church setting the congregation also commits itself to support this newly created union. What we have here in the modern setting is that promises are not that important whether to each other or to God. As a modern couple they choose each other without commitment. That means either of them could walk out of the arrangement without spiritual consequences.
The modern marriage or lack thereof is a highly visible situation by discarding the Bible’s instructions and the ability to rely on each other’s promises. We are talking about promises that seem to have no value to the modern couple. They may agree to live together but they are ignoring God’s expectations. He cannot bless this couple or use this couple for Kingdom work when they ignore his dictates. We also have the situation, besides the lack of promises, that the couple is living a sinful life of fornication or adultery which apparently is no consequence to them. They are breaking one of the 10 Commandments. When a couple moves in together without the benefit of marriage, they are totally discarding God’s instructions of how family life should originate and function. The modern church finds itself in a quandary whether or not to recognize the sinful couple into the functioning and/or membership of the church.
This is another area in which the modern church has avoided taking a stand or teaching what the Bible says about relationships and family life. Ask yourself if it is permissible for a person to teach Sunday School while living a life of sin in their own home. The church is getting to the place where, for expedient sake, overlooks so much nonbiblical living that the standards are totally deluded. When a couple approaches the pastor to perform a marriage, there must be premarital counseling and an understanding that they will not live together until the wedding. People who live together without taking their vows to each other in front of other people and making promises to God are doing so outside of what the Bible describes for the creation of a home.
Should a couple that has been living together without marriage find themselves under conviction from the Holy Spirit, the church must be gracious and forgiving to support them on a pathway of reconciliation to God in the community. They must be nurtured. They must be surrounded by love and understanding so that their backslidden state is rectified before God and for use in his Kingdom. This matter under discussion begins with people who do not respect what is God’s desires. Then it migrates to a prolonged sinful lifestyle. All of that can be rectified by the support and kindness of the church as they seek forgiveness in such a way that they put their lives in order according to the Bible. The church must be there for them each step of the way.
Christian Writer 