In the days of Moses parenting was quite extreme with consequences. The expectation for parents with high. The expectation for children was substantial. The Old Testament family had a responsibility to be an example, to guard against any unwillingness or pollution from false gods. Obedience and proper worship were paramount. It is quite different today from those who lived several thousand years ago. However, it would be wise for parents to have an agreed-upon and predetermined plan for how to raise their children.
Children do not come with an operator’s manual. Nor do they come with a warranty. And children are not guaranteed to have perfect parents either. In many ways it would appear that raising children is a hit and miss proposition. It is a major accomplishment for parents to produce spiritually and emotionally healthy children.
Challenging our success as parents are world conditions that seem to encourage children to be selfish, materialistic, immoral, and demand their “personal rights.” There are so many distractions that would rather pollute the young minds of those we love dearly. Even parents themselves, if not careful, can add to the problem by setting a conflicting example. With the odds against us there is only one option and that is with God’s guidance. We must discuss with our spouses how we want to parent our children. It might be a good idea to put this parenting plan in writing even before you have children.
How are you going to teach your child to make decisions, to have personal relationships with God, to set personal goals, to know how to problem solve, to relate to someone of the opposite sex, to have self-respect, to cope with disappointments, to create their own loving environment, to judge between right and wrong, to handle finances, to take personal responsibility without blaming others, to deal with potential stress and anxiety that comes with daily events, to become a creative personality, to have a high quality of character, to have concern for those less fortunate, and to have self-confidence?
Too many times, children are treated as possessions and not people. They have feelings and desires, too. They wish to please and be pleased. Use their desires as tools to encourage what you want them to learn and how to learn. Give them opportunities even at a young age to make choices between the options you have already predetermined. “Do you want vanilla or chocolate? Do you want to spend your last allowance on this or that?”
Children need stability and predictability. It is important that they receive a unified method of guidance and discipline regardless of which parent is responding to the child. They know how to divide and conquer parents. They know how to play parents against each other. The only successful method to deal with kids behaving as kids is for the same message to come from both parents. The parenting plan developed early will help.
The truth is that consecrated parents have unique and different families. They generate a feeling of safety, approval, well-being, acceptance, and love within the home. They create and pass on family traditions with their children. They demonstrate mature spiritual faith that is worth duplicating. Parents discipline in a way that teaches a lesson and does not provoke anger from the child. These things are impossible unless we consciously decide how to parent, stick to the plan no matter what parent is involved in the moment, and are sure to ask God’s help.
Christian Writer 