The troubles of David’s family cover more than these chapters, but they indicate a serious situation in so many families then and now. The devil has worked hard to destroy so many of the key elements of mankind. There is an abundance of many dysfunctional families that it is not surprising members do not talk to each other or worse. They hold grudges, disregard fellowship, rationalize their justifications, commit worse than gossip, harm the innocent by ignoring them, and toss aside what the Bible says about forgiveness.
Some say it’s the other person’s responsibility to bring healing. Remember that God said if we do not forgive, neither will he forgive us! This is not restricted to lower class ignoramuses or those that function in such an inferior manner through crime, drugs, selfish intent, and heartlessness. This is YOU and ME!
I know of a famous man that was the pastor of a large church. He held high positions in the Southern Baptist Denomination with respect from his peers. One day while he was speaking at a seminary a young man from the audience called him on the carpet in front of everyone for how he had such a terrible relationship with his own son.
There are times that an unintended remark meant as a joke by a father caused so much pain to his own children. I must confess that I fall into that category as well. It is so easy not to think, be impulsive, and disregard the moment. The only thing left is hurt and alienation. It may seem nothing can repair the damage.
Reflecting on a priest in the Old Testament named Eli, he was such a poor father that his sons that were also in the priesthood took bribes and committed adultery with the women to whom they had spiritual responsibilities. So bad was the circumstance that the sons lost their lives at the hand of God and Eli’s lineage was rejected by God in the ministry.
The pain, loss of sibling fellowship, rationalization, and distraction can be so unbearable as in many families that call themselves Christians that their service to each other and God is quite easily annulled.
David’s family in our text was crushed. It is so unfortunate that the situation can involve people outside the family as recorded in these Scriptures. A man that served the king, Joab, was roped into the plot. In their situation rape and murder happened. There can be no limit to how we allow our families, the hub of society, to be fractured. We can rape and murder with our own tongue. This pastor, Eli, David, and me and mine can suffer more so that there is a no current solution! Negative attitude festers unnoticed in the minds of family members.
Samson was a womanizer. The wife of Moses parted with him over obedience to God’s injunction for circumcision. The dispersion of Noah’s sons into many directions of the world was a result of his drunkenness on wine. A joint effort of many families in an attempt to build a tower to heaven resulted in their language being changed by God and their dispersion. Pilate ignored the advice of his wife about the crucifixion of Jesus which led to the governor’s great political problems with Rome afterwards.
We like to say that God is working in our families, but how can he when, we so close to each other, persist in this horrible disharmony? The way our Christian families function today needs a radical infiltrating of the Hold Spirit. Yes, apologies are needed but more than that a revival of what we once valued must put things in a proper godly order. Where an apology is offered, it cannot be viewed with skepticism or qualification. First comes the apology, then comes the following time to see how genuine it was when offered. The test of the apology is not when it is offered but how it is lived out later. Heaven will not be a place where this disharmony is forgotten. Our family misbehavior will affect any potential rewards in eternity.
Family can be the mechanism for God’s blessings. They can also be wherein hangs the chaos of the world influenced by Satan. Rejection by those who share the same bloodline brings more than hurt. Since we are all sinners, though some of us claim to be saved sinners, our directions must lead to what God intended. Jesus asked a rhetorical question if he will find faith on the earth when he returns. (Luke 18:8)
We may successfully rationalize and convince ourselves that allowing these contagious conditions to proceed are actually in direct conflict to what Jesus told Peter when he said that we are to forgive 7×70. (Luke 17:4) The solution is not by a group forum. It is by each individual who decides blood truly is thicker than water. Whoever will decide God’s glory is more important than our own self-deception will be on the road of obedience. What can we say to Jesus when he asks, “Why did you live that way against those I gave you?”
For my situation, I believe my apologies have been several. However, they have not been received well. In front of all the world, I say again, “I am sorry.” I make these confessions amid those listed here because we cannot let our own pride hinder any possible good future. What if any of the people that I’ve mentioned from the Bible had resolved themselves to live more godly instead of mangling the idea of family?
Scripture says not to grieve the Holy Spirit of God, whereby we are sealed unto the day of redemption. Are any readers of this blog grieving the Holy Spirit by tossing aside what Scripture says for how a family should practice forgiveness? Any joy or happiness that is experienced on earth while resisting what God said should be is foolishness and deception from Satan himself. There is no magic formula. The majesty is when each member of the family on their own says, “Enough is enough!”
Christian Writer 